Wedding Bells!!!

I don’t know what you were expecting when you saw the title, but I can bet it wasn’t another culture episode. Well it is!!! This time however, I am thoroughly fascinated and I’ll tell you why in a jiffy.
There comes a time in every girl’s life when she it begins to dawn on her that she will soon belong to someone as a wife. As time goes on, she begins to make the necessary preparations to ensure that as soon as Mr. Right gets down on one knee, she’s ready to fly with him. There are different methods which different individuals adapt to carry out this process. One which truly fascinates me is the popular “Fattening Room” synonymous with the Efik culture.
The Fattening Room is a sort of clinic for young ladies who are soon to be married. They go into The Fattening Room as young ladies and come out as fully grown women ready for the married life. What’s this whole thing about you may ask. Well apparently, Efik guys like their women big, full, robust and cushion like…I wonder where that leaves the likes of us -____-
The Fattening Room is designed to ensure that the bride-to-be is well pampered, treated and prepared for life as a married woman. She cannot come out of The Fattening Room until it is evident that she is ready to take on the task ahead of her i.e. until she has a robust waistline. Well, once I go in there, I guess I won’t be out for a really really really long long long time…*sigh* The robust waistline is a sign that she can carry a child with no hassles or stress.
In The Fattening Room, the bride-to-be is fed with the best kinds of food; porridge, ekpeng, plantain, yam fufu and assorted pepper soup. She is also to drink three pints of water daily and get plenty of sleep. She is pampered with massages and treated to what we can safely call the traditional or ancient spa experience.
In The Fattening Room, the bride-to-be is taught cultural dances (Ekombi), folklores, folk tales, songs and other forms of entertainment. I guess nobody wants a boring wife who cannot entertain him when the need arises. The bride-to-be also learns some artistic skills based on her flair and natural gifting. A woman coming into the marital home must at least demonstrate that she’s gifted and in touch with her cultural arts heritage.
No woman is complete without the knowledge of how to carry out activities in the home. Thus, in The Fattening Room, the bride-to-be is extensively coached by older women who are already in the marriage business. How to Keep Your Man 101 is now in session!!! Courses available in cooking, cleaning, laundry, beatification, child care and other ways to care for your husband 😉
After all this has been done, a ceremony is held in honour of the bride-to-be’s completion of the clinic. She is now allowed to leave The Fattening Room and is now allowed to have contact with the outside world. She is now a woman, ready for the marital experience.
So ladies out there looking for Efik guys, you now know what to do. They like their women chunky, robust, well rounded, interesting, fun loving, skilled in entrepreneurship and highly gifted in the art of home making. Good luck ladies!!!


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