I stared at her in complete disbelief, shock and part horror. For the first time ever, I wanted to cry for her, cry with her. My hands went to my face, covering my nose and my mouth; I was beyond terrified. I began to breathe through my mouth when the lump that had formed in my throat had made it almost impossible to breathe through my nose.
“Ngozi”, I said in between the hot tears that made their way to my eyes.
She looked up at me and smiled, tears streaming down her face.
“Are you back to finish me off?” I asked. “Are you going to know no rest until you’ve successfully rid me of everything I have in this world? You just want me dead so bad and you can’t help it, isn’t it? Why can’t you stay away from me? I hate you Ngozi, I hate you and I hope you die a slow, lonely and painful death!”
Her countenance fell. Now she was sad, with no smile which seemed to be a ray of hope across her grief stained features. I was crying now.
“Look at me!” I screamed. “Look at me!”
“The scars still hurt when I touch them. They say they will heal completely and disappear soon enough, but even if when they do Ngozi, I still will not forgive you. I will never ever forgive you Ngozi!”
I stormed off into my room. I just stood staring at nothing, unable to control the tears which just poured out like untamed beasts on the loose. Finally I fell to the ground. I wept. Nothing could ease the pain in my heart now; nothing. Ngozi was the devil herself! Why she had come back was no longer a mystery. She was here to haunt me and taunt me to my grave. I despised her, but I felt even sorrier for her.
She opened my door.
“Onyeka. Forgive me.”
She turned to leave and I called her. I wanted so bad to ask her to come in, hug her and talk to her like before. But just as I was about to do that, I was overcome by my hatred for her. And rather than ask her to come in,
“When are you leaving?” was all that my strength could carry.
I felt something die in me. She simply responded with an exhausted goodnight. I heard her cry all the way to her room. She was alone in this world. She needed me, I needed her. But neither was strong enough to approach the other.
I prayed for death in my sleep that night, but all I got was a vivid repertoire of the very evil that made realize that I had been living with a demon all along.